She curls closer, tangling their legs, eyelids lowering.

"I know you will," she murmurs. "I just-- back just after Nick was gone, when we were trying to decide where to even start, I was already having to make up for both his and my mistakes. That she didn't feel as if it was a real relationship, maybe. And trying to start something that was more properly ours, that was fine-- I'm sorry, I'm not making sense." She presses her face against the soft cotton of his shirt. "That calling her my girlfriend wasn't okay, and that it meant some kind of change in her as a person, when I've been walking such a wire, pursuing and trying to prove myself and my feelings and-- maybe I need things from her too. Maybe I need her to take a leap too."